I’m a self-harmer. I cut to relieve myself of stress or frustration (mostly the latter). It calms me down and takes my mind off things. But being an SB disallows me to do so and it’s making my mood even worse. Not being able to inflict the anger on myself only causes me to misplace it on the people around me instead. I don’t like doing that and thus it only adds to my frustrations. Ugh, I hate this job sometimes.
*sends a butt pic to 8 different guys with the caption “its all yours”*
I’ve been going through the tag and some of you ladies ask shit in text posts and never get responses. I’ve seen a lot about organization of money, POT/SD questions, so I’m gonna help you out, sugars. I have a checklist that I do every month, so I not only keep goal oriented but I do not get sloppy.
Divide 5 envelopes according to this system with examples for them. Not everyone will match up to mine. This is a very good way to keep from blowing your allowance.
Savings: tuition, big expenses, college books, etc.
Beauty: hair, nails, outfits, body, accessories.
Emergency: parking tickets, unexpected bills.
Wallet: spending money, coffees, eating out.
Monthly: groceries, rent, loans
Misc: kinky purchases, house decor, idc. Anything you cannot put into the already planned envelopes, goes here.
Hair: deep condition once every week or every other, make sure roots are in check (ain’t blonde, but I sure as hell can pretend), split ends are taken care of every 3-4 months, cut is stylish.
Body: create an exercise routine so you feel your best and stick to it, make a healthy grocery list, get a gym membership or take some yoga classes, make time for tanning and moisturize every day.
Nails: check up on them once a week and if you need a reference for some elegant nail acrylics check out Lana Del Rey’s. She always has on point fake nails.
Body Hair: shaving is my choice, but if you like to wax make sure you do not get sloppy! You never know how a date will end.
Make Up: figure out your face structure and what looks best with it, I would suggest getting a consultation or learning some techniques from youtube. Nothing is more embarrassing than having bronzer on your chin, hon, especially at a 5 star restaurant.
Fashion: If you wanna get expensive things, you have to look expensive.Keep up on new trends, make a shopping trip once a week and buy some key pieces, avoid sparkles or anything that makes you look young. Find one of your sugaring inspirations and take some tips from her style, like an actress or a rapper.
I have a planner, a calendar, and a notebook for all my information.
- reverse good check, facebook, linkedin, website, 4+ pictures, number, any background information is good information, ladies. Get a spokeo, seriously.
- wants to meet in an open area.
- money/compensation has been spoken about.
- someone knows where you are. (don’t skimp here, ladies. Find someone on tumblr, or a non-judgmental friend)
- he does not know your name, address, or phone number.
- you have another way to contact this man, so you do not get stood up.
- he does not expect sex on the first date,
(I also see in the tag, how do you know if you are in a SD/SB arrangement yet, so)
- you have finalized your arrangement with a face-to-face conversation.
- you have both expressed your limits and extent to your commitments.
- you have both blunt with one another, regarding the arrangement and he does know you are a SB and not a girlfriend.
- you have received at least 2 payments from this man.
- you know if he is married or not, but if he is DO NOT TALK ABOUT HIS WIFE OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT!
- he is willing to pay for your expenses like your phone and rent.
- you have met at least 3+ times.
If you guys ever need questions asked regarding organizing, prep or checklist about men/money/yourselves. Please ask, I love a good list, man. I might make another post soon about PROFILES on your sugaring accounts, if you guys want cause some of you have a lot of trouble with it.
So I haven’t been blogging here for awhile now. The truth is, I was met with an unfortunate incident and I needed some time to get over it as well as to recuperate so I decided to pull away from this lifestyle for abit. It makes me upset whenever I think about it but I think I feel a little better now and I’m ready to meet POTs again since I’m going to run out of money soon anyway.
Welcome me back! :)
For example, if you meet online.
1)You read their profile, chat, ask about past arrangements, find out what each others expectations are, wants, needs, etc.
If a guy isn’t willing to give this information and brings up sex too soon, other than intimacy possibly being an expectation in a set arrangement, then ditch him!
2) I like to chat by phone before meeting and if possible Skype them. This way you know they are real.
Make sure if you video chat, that you look pretty first!
A reminder: Always use separate e-mails for your sugar profiles, a fake name, a Google voice or a texting app, a separate Skype screen name. Don’t ever use anything with a name related to anything else you use. You don’t want to use something related to your real Skype or Facebook account. Also, you may want to say you live in the biggest city near you, but not your actual town.
3) As you chat more you should make a connection. Be very clear about what you want. Don’t lower your expectations for anyone. If you have any red-flags or bad vibes, just say goodbye.
4) Background and research them as much as possible before you meet.
5)Once you set a date,meet somewhere public and safe. Give a friend your info and keep in contact with him every hour or so. Check up with a quick text or phone call in the ladies room. Sometimes my friends and I watch each others dates.
I prefer first dates to be at safe hours, earlier in the evening so they wont end too late. I want to be walking back to my car when many people are still around.
Arrive EARLY. If it’s a place that has reservations wait for him inside. Park your car close and a safe distance from the building. I typically don’t want them to see my car, so this is one reason I arrive early and park close enough to where I can dash to my car and leave quickly. If it’s a normal sit down place, I always ask for a table for two. I get my table, head to the restroom, check my face, pop a mint. I bring a book to read while waiting. I text him or give him a ring to let him know I arrived a little early and already have a table. I let the waitress know someone is coming to meet me and I tell him I told the waitress to expect him. This puts me in control of the situation. I typically look for the menu before he arrives so I know what I am going to order. If he expects me to drink on the date, I tell the waitress to have all my drinks made virgin but not to let my date know. Typically, I would never suggest being under the influence when meeting anyone for the first time or even at all in these situations. You always want to be in control. I don’t drink anyway, but sometimes it makes them think they will get something and allows me more money! Normally, I am honest though and tell them I don’t drink to watch my feminine figure, as I order a fattening meal! And dessert! :)
6) I always say before we meet that I expect my travel expenses to be covered. I suggest sending me gas money before we meet or half of the gift they have promised me for a first date. Some girls think this is tacky, I say it’s smart. Plus, if the date goes badly at least I have some extra cash.
If you have to travel to meet him make sure he is getting you a plane ticket, hotel room, & rental car all in advance, etc. Also, if it’s going to be long distance HE should come meet you first.
7) If you plan to have intimacy within your arrangement, wait until you have seen an actual allowance, you have seen an STD test, you feel safe, and always make him wear a condom. Who knows how many other girls he sleeps with in-between seeing you! If he doesn’t respect your rules, move on!
Many men wont want to bend to these rules, however I think it’s best to be safe, alive, and poor, than diseased,dead, and sorry!
8) Keep a note book just for sugaring. Write down your monthly expenses, bills, debts you owe, food cost, rent, car payments, etc. Write down how much you would like to save. A list of things you want like a new bedroom set, concert tickets, weekly salon trips, whatever your little heart desires. Make a list of what you expect in an arrangement, description of the things you don’t like. Also, make a list of places you want to travel. When your POT or SDs asks you what you need/want. Make him a copy of your lists. Men often are forgetful. If he wants to surprise you with something, he has a wish-list at hand!
9) Once you have met the right man, make things official. Each arrangement is unique and different. Talk about your schedules, how often you can see each other, how you will be receiving your allowance, how things will work out if he is busy and you make yourself available(will you still get your full allowance? You made yourself available,so he should still provide). Discuss what types of activities you two want to do together, new things you both want to try, things you can teach/show each other. Be creative and keep things fun, magical, and exciting. Dazzle his world and he will dazzle yours!
Save your money, be safe, make memories!
Yeeees, are you from Singapore too?! We could meet up someday omg.