For example, if you meet online.
1)You read their profile, chat, ask about past arrangements, find out what each others expectations are, wants, needs, etc.
If a guy isn’t willing to give this information and brings up sex too soon, other than intimacy possibly being an expectation in a set arrangement, then ditch him!
2) I like to chat by phone before meeting and if possible Skype them. This way you know they are real.
Make sure if you video chat, that you look pretty first!
A reminder: Always use separate e-mails for your sugar profiles, a fake name, a Google voice or a texting app, a separate Skype screen name. Don’t ever use anything with a name related to anything else you use. You don’t want to use something related to your real Skype or Facebook account. Also, you may want to say you live in the biggest city near you, but not your actual town.
3) As you chat more you should make a connection. Be very clear about what you want. Don’t lower your expectations for anyone. If you have any red-flags or bad vibes, just say goodbye.
4) Background and research them as much as possible before you meet.
5)Once you set a date,meet somewhere public and safe. Give a friend your info and keep in contact with him every hour or so. Check up with a quick text or phone call in the ladies room. Sometimes my friends and I watch each others dates.
I prefer first dates to be at safe hours, earlier in the evening so they wont end too late. I want to be walking back to my car when many people are still around.
Arrive EARLY. If it’s a place that has reservations wait for him inside. Park your car close and a safe distance from the building. I typically don’t want them to see my car, so this is one reason I arrive early and park close enough to where I can dash to my car and leave quickly. If it’s a normal sit down place, I always ask for a table for two. I get my table, head to the restroom, check my face, pop a mint. I bring a book to read while waiting. I text him or give him a ring to let him know I arrived a little early and already have a table. I let the waitress know someone is coming to meet me and I tell him I told the waitress to expect him. This puts me in control of the situation. I typically look for the menu before he arrives so I know what I am going to order. If he expects me to drink on the date, I tell the waitress to have all my drinks made virgin but not to let my date know. Typically, I would never suggest being under the influence when meeting anyone for the first time or even at all in these situations. You always want to be in control. I don’t drink anyway, but sometimes it makes them think they will get something and allows me more money! Normally, I am honest though and tell them I don’t drink to watch my feminine figure, as I order a fattening meal! And dessert! :)
6) I always say before we meet that I expect my travel expenses to be covered. I suggest sending me gas money before we meet or half of the gift they have promised me for a first date. Some girls think this is tacky, I say it’s smart. Plus, if the date goes badly at least I have some extra cash.
If you have to travel to meet him make sure he is getting you a plane ticket, hotel room, & rental car all in advance, etc. Also, if it’s going to be long distance HE should come meet you first.
7) If you plan to have intimacy within your arrangement, wait until you have seen an actual allowance, you have seen an STD test, you feel safe, and always make him wear a condom. Who knows how many other girls he sleeps with in-between seeing you! If he doesn’t respect your rules, move on!
Many men wont want to bend to these rules, however I think it’s best to be safe, alive, and poor, than diseased,dead, and sorry!
8) Keep a note book just for sugaring. Write down your monthly expenses, bills, debts you owe, food cost, rent, car payments, etc. Write down how much you would like to save. A list of things you want like a new bedroom set, concert tickets, weekly salon trips, whatever your little heart desires. Make a list of what you expect in an arrangement, description of the things you don’t like. Also, make a list of places you want to travel. When your POT or SDs asks you what you need/want. Make him a copy of your lists. Men often are forgetful. If he wants to surprise you with something, he has a wish-list at hand!
9) Once you have met the right man, make things official. Each arrangement is unique and different. Talk about your schedules, how often you can see each other, how you will be receiving your allowance, how things will work out if he is busy and you make yourself available(will you still get your full allowance? You made yourself available,so he should still provide). Discuss what types of activities you two want to do together, new things you both want to try, things you can teach/show each other. Be creative and keep things fun, magical, and exciting. Dazzle his world and he will dazzle yours!
Save your money, be safe, make memories!
Yeeees, are you from Singapore too?! We could meet up someday omg.
Well, this could turn into a long opened ended discussion. There are many ways to be spoiled. Such as financially, materialistically, spiritually and sexually etc.
It’s probably safe to say that you’d prefer to tell him that you’d like to be spoiled either monetarily or materialistically, and believe it or not, there are ways to go about this, that come off less “gold-diggerish”. I wouldn’t advise just flat out saying you want money!
Personally, if I were given a choice, I would prefer to be spoiled with money. It doesn’t matter if it comes in the form of cash, a certified cheque, an email transfer or as a prepaid visa etc and for these reasons:
1) Priorities. Having cash, enables me to accomplish my goals quicker and to keep my priorities in check. A new computer is nice, but if I have to pawn it off to pay my car insurance bill…what good has that done for me?
2) Freedom. It gives me a sense of freedom, that I am able to look after things instead of just at things, and can plan for a rainy day.
3) Control. It limits his amount of control over me. He doesn’t get to decide what I will do with the money, he has allotted for me. Trust me, they always think of it as their money, even when it’s in our hands. No man wants to know that we are going shopping for an outfit to wear with some other guy with the money they gave us. It not only gives me control over how I use it to help myself, but in how I am able to help others, such as with my family, boyfriends, charities or friends
4) Things change. What I want now, may be a waste of a $1,000 in a year or two. Items depreciate in value, and we (people) are notorious for always wanting the biggest, fastest, prettier version of what we have now. Plus, things become broken, stolen, misplaced and are most often underused. That same $1,000 in my bank, whether its invested or saved, will still be there…except it will have increased in value.
Now, as for asking to be spoiled financially or materialistically, which ever you choose, you can go about it by mentioning things similar to this:
"How do you want to be spoiled?"
1) Well, to be honest, I’d like to be spoiled financially. It gives me a sense of freedom that I find to be liberating. It takes the stress away from having to work so many hours while trying to study for school at the same time.
2) Actually, I’d like to be spoiled with material gifts. The allowance that you are (will be) giving me, is enough to take care of all of my expenses. So it would be really sweet of you to surprise me with items that I maybe can not afford for myself. I can give you a list if it’ll help?
3) This is a tough question. I would love to be spoiled both financially and with material gifts. But it’s just not feasible because I still live at home. In order for me to avoid my parents/boyfriend asking me a lot of questions about the gifts that you will give me, its simply smarter to chose financially, for now. Imagine if I started to give you gifts that you had to try to hide from your wife/co-workers etc? Its just extra stress that you and I don’t really need. This is supposed to be fun right! Since I keep my finances separate, its a more private way of being spoiled, because I can use it to buy myself gifts that I know my parents won’t suspect anything about.
4) To be honest, I’m content in our arrangement, and I feel blessed with the allowance that you currently give me. I’d like to leave it up to you to surprise me! Of course, I can drop little hints for certain things that catch my eye here and there, or I can make you a quick list of items that I’ll need next semester for school/work? I’m sure along the way, that something will pop up that I may need a little extra help with financially, such as car trouble or maybe a flight to see my best friend for a weekend (who just happens to live in NY or Vegas lol)? Maybe you can help me with that?
5) Listen, we’re both adults and although I’m a reserved girl, I’ve never been too shy to go after what I want. And I want you. I want us to work and have a great arrangement. To put it bluntly, I’ll take care of you sexually while you take care of me financially. It’s a win-win because I doubt that you want me to buy you a new dress or treat you to a spa day? Lol.
With the last one #5, I’m just throwing it out there, because 9x out of 10…we know what line is coming next, “I’ll spoil you, if you spoil me” ugh lol. I hope that helps. Regardless of what ever it is that you want, either in the moment or for the future, whether its money, gifts or sex, the best thing to do is to tell him, before its too late and he makes the decision for you!
Good luck ;)
Didn’t notice my ask box was closed, so sorry! You guys can leave me messages now~